What I love about this picture, is Ellie’s concern for the baby!
I’m very proud to be a Granddad. Your have probably noticed that from my blogs. the reason it means so much to me is that I never expected to be around to meet any of my grandchildren. I have a lot of crap going on, Various illnesses and after five years of five different specialists, to be honest, I never thought I’d be here to meet a grandchild. But by a series of misadventures it’s happened. I’m determined to make the most of it… Whilst I can. She is so beautiful, just like her mum, Amy, my wonderful daughter.
It is because of this event in my life, that I have started to paint again. I hadn’t painted for over two years… Bowie died, and I tried to create a painting as an elegy to his passing, but I couldn’t get it right. So i gave up. Now, I have suddenly worked out how to do it, It’s a revelation! It is a technique which is beguiling easy. I’m not sure it’s art though. My methodology is almost like an idiot savant, which is a horrible name, but i’m sure you will have heard of it or seen their paintings.
This is an example. Savant painters are painters who have a form of autism which enables them to remember things in exact detail. I am slightly border-line autistic or aspergers, I have never been tested. I have several abilities i find embarrassing. I can count in different bases, Like binary or base 3 or 4. I find this soothing. I can remember scripts from films, and lyrics from songs… I quote them all the time. Really quite embarrassing. I can remember layouts of pages from books, can quote passages… etc etc.
Really not that useful. i have an I.Q. of 176, or at least I did have last time I was tested. Again, really not that useful… I drive a van for a living! I don’t respond well to authority and have a sticky record with management. I have had two written warnings, not because I can’t do my job, but because of my attitude.
Back to the point. My paintings are done with a technique similar to a savants, But mine is not so much with line as with tone. i have always struggled with my paintings because I’m colour-blind. My son is a lot worse than me, he can’t see a difference between green, red, orange or brown, but with me its green and blue. Which makes painting landscapes quite difficult. I love landscapes, but my greens become a mass and I cannot seem to find away out. But what I recently found, is I can paint tonally, By exaggerating the contrasts and limiting my pallet to a few colours I can create images which people really like.
Now, the crux of the matter. I have always given my art away, because I felt that art is something precious… I know this makes me sound like an idiot, but I really do feel art is too important to be reduced to a capital value. I enjoy giving it to people who will enjoy it everyday. But, with the birth of my Granddaughter, I suddenly realised, I have nothing of value to pass on to her. So I began feverishly painting pictures, with the hope that out of this a solution to my impercunity would arise. And in a way it has… Some very kind people have asked if I would be interested in selling my paintings. And I say, I’m thinking about it… And I am, because, I want to be able to offer support to my little phoenix and to my own kids, and my beautiful Marie. But I still have this weird feeling that to sell my Art is to sell out… Am I completely Nuts?
I also know that this mad feverish painting is an episode before depression sets in. And I should ride the wave whilst I can. Does any of this make sense to you people? You are all artists, you know the vagaries of the artistic temperament… Am I alone in these feelings of ambiguity?