If this post is offensive to anyone’s religious beliefs I do apologise, this is my spiritual journey, and my way of accessing the godhead.
When i was told of my beloved’s death on Thursday night, I expected her spirit to come to me. I was totally destroyed when it did not, but given the traumatic nature of the accident, I figured her spirit was itself in a state of shock.
On Saturday morning she came to Phoenix. Phoenix said Nanny, then cried for half an hour, calling for grandadadad over and over. This made me very happy, because it showed how much she loved our granddaughter.
On sunday morning I turned off you tube videos, which I use to help me sleep, and visited a bereavement video, in the hope I could get some kind of perspective. As I dozed listening to this, Marie smacked right between the eyes… like being hit with a baseball bat, I saw stars and lightening. It was almost as if she was showing me how it felt. And that because my head was so full of shit, she simply could not get through to me without extreme force.
Last night, I took half a sleeping tablet, just so I could get some proper sleep. This time she came to the front door, when I opened it she just hugged me and kissed me, and for the first time since it happened, I felt real joy.
I now know for sure that she is with me. And that makes me very happy. I’m not alone. She will always be there.
I hope that my blog can give some hope to anyone out there who is undergoing the same trauma of bereavement. The answer seems to be to get your mind to stop the mad jumble of emotions and detritus of life, and give yourself the space to listen, because those you love in this spiritual journey will always remain with you in your heart….
All you have to do is listen.
live in love my friends