Trying to deal with all the rigmarole, of insurance, Coroners court, bank accounts and so on, has left me feeling punch drunk this afternoon. I have three pages of telephone numbers I need to keep informed of all events, remembering who I have told what and when, my head is literally spinning… It’s been productive but as with all of life’s stress situations, you often feel like you’re banging your head on a brick wall!
By the afternoon I feel totally overwhelmed by grief. The sadness sits like a storm front over my head… I feel guilty about shouting at the dogs… They are not used to this sort of behaviour… Our household is not one full of raised voices, Marie and I never argued. In eight years, we lived in harmony. Now, all is dissonance, there is a jumble of emotions, which I cannot control.
I guess its all a part of the process.