A GUILTY SMILE

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Just went shopping, and for the first time in three weeks didn’t burst into tears. When I was queuing up at the check out, the guy in front of me started to complain to the check-out girl about something which was totally beyond her control. As he left, I made a joke of having to complain… that I had nothing to complain about. The girl smiled and I smiled back, but the smile caught in the back of my throat… How Dare I pretend that life could be normal? I felt guilty for trying to act as if this day was a normal day… I mean how can any day be normal when my reason for existing has gone? I then proceeded to tell the girl all about what had happened to my Marie. I find sharing it, helps in some way, but I also feel guilty for ruining someone else’s day. I was, however, able to talk without breaking up, so may be this is cathartic, and people are always kind. I’m never going to stop loving you, my Marie, You are and always will be my Only One! Yet I have to try to pretend towards a semblance of normality, otherwise my continued existence is just going to be unbearable.

live in love my friends

Dale xxx

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