So sick of only being able to be normal and engaged for about three days at a time. When I went away with the kids, I was fully engaged for three days, then I took to my bed, too sad to share how I was feeling, I claimed a dodgy back. Here in Cornwall, the same for three days I felt normal, but on day four I’m back hiding away and every day since. This is depression. You know the answer, to just get up and do stuff, but it isn’t easy.
This week I have forced myself to get up and do something every day, even though I wanted to curl up and die. Each day I have forced myself to enjoy the things I’ve done, even as I had tears in my eyes, missing my angel so much…
I asked her yesterday, why is it I FEEL SO SAD every time I think about you? I mean you are the most cherished memory in my life, so why can’t I just enjoy the memories?