we had spoken, well not so much spoken but rather texted each other, endlessly, for about three months… On facebook, yahoo and by mobile. Long meandering conversations, re-awakening our past love, with honesty and with gentle steps.
So, I sat in a lay-by, a mile away from the school we had attended three decades ago. I was a little nervous, would she find my aged frame a bit of a let-down? Her car pulled up behind me. She stepped out of her vehicle and I thought,
“Oh yes there is the woman of my dreams!”
She lent into my car and kissed me. I smiled.
I got out and followed her back to her car.
“Where shall we go?” I asked.
“Let’s go to a cafe in the chase, and get a cup of tea.”
Was there any awkwardness?
I don’t think so.
I probably spoke too much, made too many jokes, which I do always, not just when I’m nervous.
She took me down the back lanes of the chase and stopped beside a forest side cafe, that I didn’t now existed. We sat outside, and she went to the kiosk and bought two mugs of teas and a bacon sandwich. We drank tea in silence. We ate half each of the bacon sandwich and we listened to the sounds of the forest as the yellowhammer sang beside the feeding table.
“A little bit of bread and no cheese.” She said apropos of nothing.
We were sat so close to each other… our arms entwined without even thinking. I was so enraptured I couldn’t speak…
This is who I want to share the rest of my life with… I could already see it stretching out into the future.
“What?” I asked after realising she had spoken some kind of nonsense.
“A little bit of bread and no cheese… That’s what the Yellowhammer’s song is supposed to say.”
“Really, I’ve never heard that before.”
It sounded like love. It looked like love. It felt like love.
” I Love You.” I said.
” I know… Me too.”
And that was it. As far as We both were concerned.
We loved each other,
And the Yellowhammer sang.
A YEAR ON AND MY CHEST STILL FEELS LIKE AN EMPTY CAVERN… MY HEART REMAINS BROKEN, MY LIFE A SOULLESS VACUUM… HOW DO YOU LIVE IN A WORLD WITHOUT MARIA?