AFTER PLAYLIST

IMG_4195

 

AFTER PLAYLIST

  1. AFTER LAUGHTER (COMES TEARS) -WENDY RENE
  2. AFTERSHAVE OCEAN – THE VACCINES
  3. DAY AFTER DAY – THOMPSON TWINS
  4. AFTER THE FLOOD – TALK TALK
  5. NIGHT AFTER NIGHT – STYLE COUNCIL
  6. SOON AFTER CHRISTMAS – STINA NORDENSTAM
  7. AFTER YOU PUT BACK THE PIECES – SMOKEY ROBINSON
  8. AFTERGLOW – SMALL FACES
  9. LION AFTER SLUMBER – SCRITTI POLITTI
  10. TIME AFTER TIME – REM
  11. DAY AFTER DAY – THE PRETENDERS
  12. AFTER THE GOLD RUSH – NEIL YOUNG
  13. AFTER 6 – THE MEKONS
  14. AFTERSUN – MASSIVE ATTACK
  15. AFTERGLOW – INXS
  16. ONLY AFTER DARK – HUMAN LEAGUE
  17. TIME AFTER TIME – CYNDI LAUPER
  18. AFTER ALL – DAVID BOWIE
  19. AFTERGLOW – CHVRCHES
  20. AFTER THE DISCO – BROKEN BELLS

AFTER THE SUN MUST COME RAIN…

DALE ‘M’

HAPPY PLAYLIST

IMG_3125

HAPPY PLAYLIST

A Happy Song – Moby & The Void Pacific Choir

Be Happy Children – Paul Weller

Double Happy – Split Enz

Everybody’s Happy These days – Buzzcocks

Grandbags Funeral – Happy Mondays

Happy – Mazzy Star

Happy Again – Longpigs

Happy Be Fine – Polica

Happy Birthday – King Crimson

Happy Birthday – Altered Images

Happy Birthday – The Birthday Massacre

Happy Castle – The Crotched Doughnut Ring

Happy Day – Talking Heads

Happy Faces – the Maccabees

Happy Gallopers – The Savages

Happy House – Siouxsie & the Banshees

Happy Nurse – the Sugarcubes

Happy Time – Tim Buckley

Happy When it Rains – The Jesus & Mary Chain

Just Can’t Get Happy Today – The Damned

I’m Happy just to Dance with You – The Beatles

happy sunday people, just off to the canal.

Dale ‘m’

LOVE PLAYLIST

IMG_4204

LOVE PLAYLIST

I’m not in Love – 10CC

Playground Love – Air

Love Is A Losing Game – Amy Winehouse

Moments In Love – Art Of Noise

Feel Like Making Love – Bad Company

And I Love Her – The Beatles

Only Your Love Can Save Me -Bettye Lavette

That Old Devil Called Love – Billie Holiday

Is This Love – Bob Marley & The Wailers

Soul Love – David Bowie

Slave To Love – Bryan Ferry

A Woman’s Love – Carla Thomas

Will You Love Me Tomorrow – Carole King

Each Time You Fall In Love – Cigarettes after Sex

My Love Paramour – Cocteau Twins

Fingers Of Love – Crowded House

Let’s Make Love And Listen To Death From Above – CSS

Friday I’m In Love – The Cure

Love Song – The Damned

Savage Love – Death in Vegas

Love To Love You – Donna Summer

Love Her Madly – The Doors

The Look Of Love – Dusty Springfield

With Love – Elbow

The Power Of Love – Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Love Love – Ghost Society

Love Action – Human League

Love And Affection – Joan Armatrading

Love Will Tear us Apart – Joy Division

Hounds Of Love – Kate Bush

Love Like Blood – Killing Joke

Lover Lover Lover – Leonard Cohen

Love You Better – The Maccabees

Justify My love – madonna

To Love Somebody – Nina Simone

Lover Of Outrage – penetration

Tattooed Love Boys – The Pretenders

Love In Vain – The Ruts

Love Song – Simple Minds

Love In A Void – Siouxsie & The Banshees

Coz I Luv You – Slade

Tainted Love – Soft Cell

Someone To Love Me – Solomon Burke

I Was Made To Love Her – Stevie Wonder

Hot Love – T.Rex

Creatures Of love – talking Heads

Pride ( In The Name Of Love) – U2

love is the answer…

now what’s the qustion?

Dale ‘m’ xxx

SUMMER PLAYLIST

IMG_4558

SUMMER PLAYLIST

  1. Summer Breeze – Isley Brothers
  2. Here Comes Summer – Dave Clark Five
  3. Summer’s Coming Around Again – Carly Simon
  4. Someone Somewhere In The Summertime – Simple Minds
  5. Icons Of Summer – Cold Cave
  6. Summer – The Courteeners
  7. Endless Summer – Still Corners
  8. Summer Madness – Kool & the Gang
  9. Summer In The City – Quincy Jones
  10. Summer – Blink – Cocteau Twins
  11. Wasted Summer – Stumbleine
  12. Summer’s Over – Deep Dish
  13. Italian Summer – Stevie Nicks
  14. Summertime – Miles Davis
  15. Summertime – The Troggs
  16. Crazy English Summer – Faithless
  17. Summer’s Night – The Tourists
  18. Long Hot Summer – The Style Council
  19. Summer – Vivaldi
  20. Summertime – Nina Simone

pray to send the rain away!

Dale ‘m’

FUTURE DAZE

photo0150

WHERE DO I GO NOW?

The future was measured out as a spell,

Full of amazing adventures shared,

Just as the last decade as been…

Beautiful times …

Beautiful because they were shared…

Each place we went

Each event we enjoyed,

were always twofold

because they were shared!

The future I envisioned,

Had only one central tenet…

And that was you My Marie!

Everything I can do,

Will have no meaning,

Without your smile…

Without your love.

You gave meaning to everything…

Even God!

So where do I go Now?

I have no idea,

The light has left my life,

I am in the dark…

The God you made me believe in…

Has departed,

Reneged on the deal we made…

You made me see reason,

But all reason has gone.

I honestly have no idea what comes next,

I will keep doing all the myriad of things I have to…

The official tasks of the bereaved,

But after that…

I have no plan.

Please tell me where do I go now?

 

this is from January, I still feel rudderless, but I am trying to find meaning.

Dale

MORE PICTURES OF MY ANGEL AND A TALE

I left school in May, 1976… It was the long hot summer, it was the summer when I discovered what that thing was all about… For three months I was engaged to a girl called Jane. I had failed 9 o’levels, due to the fact I’d not gone to school much in the last 18 months… I’d discovered how to bunk off shortly after my Brother had died in an accident, and after a while it became easier to not go to school than it was to go… An awkward meeting with the deputy head… In the eleventh hour I capitulated and went back to take my O’levels, but surprisingly to no avail, as even rudimentary schooling requires some attendance. Given that 1976 was a long hot summer, and I had no prospect of qualifications, I found it some what difficult to find a job. I happily took the £7.59 a week dole money, and lived off the hog. Booze, fags and the delights of nervous sexual adventure.  By the time the results came out, and Jane was no more,( leaving the sedentary delights of my amorous endeavours for the better prospects of some guy that was a machinist at Enots) I discovered that the world outside school was not going to welcome me with open arms. I therefore had to come up with a better plan. I persuaded my school to take me back to do resits, and then A’levels.

I had the best of intentions. Then Marie happened.

I used to go home for lunch, as I lived near the school… I was feeling rather miserable a walked back into the school one September lunchtime… I was being berated by parents and teachers alike as I was still not reaching the required standard… I must work harder the familiar refrain shot at me from all sides… To be honest, I had a pretty nihilistic opinion on life and schooling in particular.

Anyway, I walked into the school around the back of the Sports Hall, where all the smokers used to hide out. I was hoping to cadge a fag. Suddenly I stopped dead in my tracks,there before me stood a beautiful tall dark girl, a girl I had never met before. She had been in the school for two years, but I had not, so that’s probably why I had missed her.

She was stood chatting to my mate, Morgan who was looking censoriously at the rogue cigarette, anxious not to be caught in the cross-fire should a teacher suddenly appear.

I smiled at Morgan and said Hi. I looked at the girl and said,

“give us a drag”. She smiled and passed the cigarette, I took two long drags and then went to give it her back, just as Mr.Evans appeared around  the corner. I cupped the cigarette behind my back, but to no avail. I got a clip around the ear, as he said, “If you want to smoke do it off school premises!”

So, taking him at his word, I turned around and began to walk off the premises. The teacher stood there non-plussed, and as I walked out of the gates I heard a voice call from behind me,

“Hey wait up…”

She, the immortal she, the only one, she ran up beside me.

“Where are you going?”

“Fuck this!”, I said, “I don’t know why I fucking bothered coming back, they still just treat you like a kid.”

“You Want to come back to mine? Have a coffee or something?”

“Who are you? I’ve never seen you here before?”

“I’m Marie. Morgan’s told me all about you.”

” Yeah, I’m just the talk of the fucking town… Renegade black sheep!”

We went back to her house, a funny pointy roof house I used to call the Witch’s Cauldron.

We sat and talked all afternoon, drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. She introduced me to The Naked Ape by Desmond Morris. She had me read aloud the chapter on Sex. I sat in an armchair, reading aloud from this bloody book, whilst she sat and my feet, stroking my inner thigh… I thought I was in heaven, and that she was some kind of Goddess, the most exotic and beautiful person I had ever met…

And 42 years later she still is!

or was…

God I miss you so much my beloved!

Always yours

Dale

 

 

 

PERPETUAL WINTER

img_1120

Will the sun ever shine again?

I don’t see how…

You made the sun gleam with wonder,

You made the world a magical place…

Now all the magic has gone,

And I am left with the nothing…

Empty pages flickering in front of my eyes.

 

I’m emotionally chilled to the bone,

Nothing can warm my half -soul,

But the match of yours.

A half-life in half light,

Always winter and never Christmas.

And yet it is just weeks from your smile,

And your joyful love…

Which I can never share on this plane again.

 

It’s the nights, always the nights,

When the yearning cannot be abated.

I wake and sob every night,

And know it will never stop.

The days can be contained by action,

But the night just drags on forever.

 

first time I’ve been able to look at these blogs since I wrote them, Back when grief was new and all consuming.

Dale

AND THE YELLOW HAMMER SANG

yellowhammer500

we had spoken, well not so much spoken but rather texted each other, endlessly, for about three months… On facebook, yahoo and by mobile. Long meandering conversations, re-awakening our past love, with honesty and with gentle steps.

So, I sat in a lay-by, a mile away from the school we had attended three decades ago. I was a little nervous, would she find my aged frame a bit of a let-down? Her car pulled up behind me. She stepped out of her vehicle and I thought,

“Oh yes there is the woman of my dreams!”

She lent into my car and kissed me. I smiled.

I got out and followed her back to her car.

“Where shall we go?” I asked.

“Let’s go to a cafe in the chase, and get a cup of tea.”

Was there any awkwardness?

I don’t think so.

I probably spoke too much, made too many jokes, which I do always, not just when I’m nervous.

She took me down the back lanes of the chase and stopped beside a forest side cafe, that I didn’t now existed. We sat outside, and she went to the kiosk and bought two mugs of teas and a bacon sandwich. We drank tea in silence. We ate half each of the bacon sandwich and we listened to the sounds of the forest as the yellowhammer sang beside the feeding table.

“A little bit of bread and no cheese.” She said apropos of nothing.

We were sat so close to each other… our arms entwined without even thinking. I was so enraptured I couldn’t speak…

This is who I want to share the rest of my life with… I could already see it stretching out into the future.

“What?” I asked after realising she had spoken some kind of nonsense.

“A little bit of bread and no cheese… That’s what the Yellowhammer’s song is supposed to say.”

“Really, I’ve never heard that before.”

“Listen”

I listened.

It sounded like love. It looked like love. It felt like love.

” I Love You.” I said.

” I know… Me too.”

And that was it. As far as We both were concerned.

We loved each other,

And the Yellowhammer sang.

Dale

DEAD FEEL NO PAIN

IMG_3848

DEAD FEEL NO PAIN

Do not pity the dead,

They feel no pain…

They leave a world of pain

to the living, God bless us,

And in your heart you know

It is your loss that you grieve.

It’s the missing of the Dead

Which breaks our hearts,

That and the fragile thread

Which we realise, holds us here.

 

Go bravely on with your lives,

Live it in step with those who went before,

For if they watch the game,

Make them proud,

And if they don’t?

You’ve lost nothing.

Copyright Dale Beck 2018.


Just a thought.

Dale

HOMEMADE GROUNDBAIT

69048772_10215123748228345_6185537141498445824_n

With it raining today in the great Metropolis of London, spent the afternoon making groundbait for tomorrow’s epic fishing adventure. Bread, oats, custard powder, strawberry angel delight, half a bag of bought canal mix groundbait, some vanilla essence and a broken blender…

Half an hour’s effort in the making, and an hour’s cleaning for Janet afterwards, patience of a saint, and very forgiving. I know I’m every housewife’s nightmare, but as a bachelor I don’t have to worry.

Tight Lines.

Dale beloved of ‘m’