HOMESICK BLUES

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HOMESICK BLUES

NOWHERE IS HOME WITHOUT YOU,

LEFT BEREFT, LIKE A HAT WITHOUT A HEAD,

I WAS THE GLOSS AND BLUSTER,

YOU WERE THE BRICKS AND MORTAR…

THE RESILIENCE I ALWAYS LACKED

THE GLUE THAT HELD MY FLAKES

TOGETHER.

 

I YEARN FOR YOUR KISS,

YOUR ARMS, YOUR UNENDING CHARMS,

NEVER TO BE ALONE AGAINST THE WORLD,

BUT THAT’S ALL GONE NOW!

THE JOLT, THE SPARK ,

NOTHING IS HERE BUT YESTERDAY…

AND TOMORROW SWOONS,

LIKE AN UNTIED BALLOON.

 

DALE ‘M’

BUTTERMERE LAKE

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BUTTERMERE LAKE

IT CALLS ME FOR MY RETURN,

AND I WONDER IF SHE HOLDS,

THE REFLECTION OF MY LOVE,

I LEFT THERE ONCE BEFORE…

 

IT WAS A HAPPY SMILING FACE,

REMEMBER THAT WONDROUS WILY GRIN?

DO YOU STILL HOLD IT FIRM,

AS I DO IN MY MIND’S EYE?

 

I WOULD THAT I COULD GATHER IT UP

AND HOLD IT STILL WITHIN MY ARMS,

FOR THE CHERISHED CHARMS ARE LOST,

AND I AM NOW FORLORN…

 

I HAVE A SILHOUETTE PORTRAIT,

THAT SITS JUST BEHIND MY SOUL,

AND THERE SHE WHISPERS LOVINGLY,

BUT I WOULD LOVE TO OWN,

 

THAT LAST REFLECTION.

 

MEMORIES FLOOD IN.

DALE ‘M’

 

ALL THINGS MUST PASS

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ALL THINGS MUST PASS

A JOURNEY WITHOUT INCIDENT,

APART FROM A MOANING BABY,

OR TWO PEOPLE TALKING IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE…

ANNOYING IN THAT YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND,

BUT HAVE TO HEAR!

 

BUT YOU HAVE A SEAT,

AND THERE ARE NO DELAYS,

AND THE WINDOW SHEDS THE LANDSCAPE,

WITHOUT FOCUS OR INTENT.

 

THE MIST MELLOWS EDGES,

APART FROM THE HEADACHE,

WHICH RIPS AGAINST THE FRAYED EDGE

OF YOUR SENSIBILITY.

 

THE REALITY HAS SETTLED,

MONEY HAS TRICKLED THROUGH MY FINGERS

AND A NEW REALITY HAS TO BE FOUND,

I CANNOT BE THE MOURNER.

 

ALL ROLES ARE AVAILABLE,

EXCEPT THAT I CAN GET NO GRASP,

OF WHAT MY FUTURE SHOULD BE,

ALL AMBITION HAS DIED.

 

WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO,

THE TRACK RINGS ALONG,

SINGING THAT SAME OLD SONG,

SING ALONG, SING ALONG…

DALE ‘M’

 

PULLED TO BITS

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PULLED TO BITS

FORGOTTEN MOMENTS OF PURE BLISS,

A SNOWY SATURDAY MORNING…

WAITING FOR A ROOM TO BE FREE.

WE SAT IN A CAFE, CHOCOLATE AND CAKE,

LOOKING OUT ACROSS THE BIG FLAKES FALLING…

KNOWING THAT THIS MOMENT WOULD COST,

WEEKS APART, INTERMINABLE LONGING.

 

AND THOSE FEW SPARE HOURS,

A JEWEL IN THE DESERT,

AFTER SO MANY STOLEN KISSES…

LIKE TWO TEENAGERS AGAIN,

THIS THE FIRST IN A BED.

WE GAVE GIFTS AND CALLED IT CHRISTMAS,

BUT KNEW THE PAUCITY OF THE HOLIDAY.

 

AND AFTER YOU DROPPED ME OFF,

TWO STREETS AWAY…

AND MY HEART SANK TO MY BOOTS,

AND MY HEAD FLIPPED, A TICK CONSTANT,

LIKE A SPASM, A TOURETTE’S TIC…

I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE!

 

NINE YEARS AGO TODAY,

AND THE OUTCOME WAS PERFECT,

ALL YOUR FUTURE LIFE WAS SHARED,

BATHED IN MY LOVE…

AND I BATHED IN YOU,

UNTIL THAT NIGHT…

THAT PULLED ME TO BITS.

DALE ‘M’

UNDER THE SUN

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UNDER THE SUN

HOW MANY SOULS CONNECTED HAVE FLED?

DRUNK ON YOUTH AND INNOCENCE

NEVER TO LET GO, NEVER TO LOSE…

BUT LOST LIKE LOTUS LEAVES

IN THE SUMMER MISTRAL.

 

IMMORTAL IMAGES OF ILLUSORY PERMANENCY ,

THIS MERRY THRALL OF ANGELIC UPSTARTS,

LIFE-LONG FELLOW TRAVELLERS,

AND YET LOST ON THE JOURNEY,

LEFT TO SING SIREN SONGS DOWN MEMORY LANE.

 

HALF-REMEMBERED CARVINGS OF CRAVEN DESIRE,

A LANDSCAPE OF LOVELY CURVES AND CREVICES,

TURNED TO DUST BY THE HARSH MISTRESS OF TIME,

YOUR LULLABY OF LILITH LOST TO BANSHEE WAIL,

AS I CALL YOUR ROSTER BY ANCIENT NAME AND RUNE.

DALE ‘M’

CAFE

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I went passed the cafe we went to, on our first time back together… I’d been to your mother’s, to take her xmas presents, and decided to take the dogs for a walk on Cannock Chase… Yes I got lost again, as ever lost in the Black Country, and went passed the cafe where we first shared a tea and bacon sandwich. I had held on to your thigh, and realised that you were the only person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with… It never occurred to me that It would be the rest of your life not mine.

So many reminders… It all comes flooding back, and I think, its less than a month until the anniversary, and it seems so far away, because there are the horrors of Christmas and New Year standing like doormen in front of that date… Three things to get passed all within a fortnight. And my mother is adamant that we should all be happy, no long faces… And I say, but some of us have reasons to have long faces, and she thinks that by force of will she can control all of our moods… and stop the tears. She plans to be the ayatollah of emotion, the Goebbel’s of grins.

She is going to goose step across Christmas, Marshalling our moods with her own inimitable way, drinking gin and tonic!

oh what joy!

Dale ‘M’

NEXT STEP

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NEXT

Never have I lived such a sedentary life,

Hour upon hour contemplating,

navel-gazing, aimlessly vacillating,

Between world and unworldly,

Arcane or basely visceral…

I have no momentum…

Inertia has rendered the body immoveable.

 

Literally immoveable.

Back has seized up like a gate spring.

Frozen in time and space and velocity,

How to move on?

There are no locks in real space,

Just in my mind.

 

All carnality, or thoughts there of,

Are acts of betrayal…

But who am I betraying?

The promise dies with the person promised?

I just don’t have the theological maturity to know.

I’m like a child left to their own devices…

With the admonishing words of lost parents

ringing in their ears…

Do you continue to hold to their social norms?

I cannot hear her voice in my ear,

only in my heart.

always in my heart!


unfettered ramblings of a lost boy.

Dale ‘M’

LUCKY

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This person is Janet. She has single-handedly saved my life this year. She has been there for me throughout the year, gone to art museums, come fishing, got drunk… basically dragged me kicking and screaming back into life. She has put up with me being moody, bloody horrible and mean, so sad that I could not stop crying, so angry I terrify her, so mental that I wake up at 4am talking complete nonsense for hours. She has had to take anti-histamines all year because she’s allergic to dogs and I have two! Before she came up to stay, she had never had any contact with dogs and was scared of them. Now she takes them walks and puts up with them jumping on her in bed.

She has been my rock. I’m so lucky to know her. She has coaxed me back from the edge of darkness, and I just want to say thank you beautiful lady. Thank you for being my friend, Janet, you mean the world to me.

Dale’M’

HEAVEN PLAYLIST

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HEAVEN PLAYLIST

  1. HEAVEN & SEAS – XMAL DEUTSCHLAND
  2. HEAVENLY CREATURES – WOLF ALICE
  3. HEAVENS IN HERE – TIN MACHINE
  4. HEAVEN – TALKING HEADS
  5. HEAVEN AND ALCHEMY – SIOUXSIE
  6. MONKEY GONE TO HEAVEN – PIXIES
  7. HEAVENLY NOBODIES – LUSH
  8. STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN – LED ZEPPELIN
  9. ANYWHERE LIKE HEAVEN – JAMES TAYLOR
  10. HEAVENLY – ILYA
  11. LET’S MAKE A BOMB – HEAVEN 17
  12. MY BLUE HEAVEN – GLENN MILLER
  13. BREATH AWAY FROM HEAVEN – GEORGE HARRISON
  14. HEAVEN KNOWS – FIRST AID KIT
  15. HEAVEN ON EARTH – FAT WHITE FAMILY
  16. TEARS IN HEAVEN – ERIC CLAPTON
  17. HEAVEN IS WAITING – DANSE SOCIETY
  18. JUST LIKE HEAVEN – THE CURE
  19. THE MAKER OF HEAVENLY TROUSERS – THE CRANES
  20. HEAVEN OR LAS VEGAS – COCTEAU TWINS

THE ANTITHESIS OF HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW

DALE ‘M’

SHADOWLAND

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SHADOWLAND

AS THE VEIL COMES CLOSER,

THE VOICES BEYOND ARE ALMOST AUDIBLE,

LIKE THE SOUND OF A BUZZING AUDIENCE,

JUST BEFORE THE LIGHTS GO DOWN,

A CACOPHONY WITHOUT FOCUS.

 

SOMETIMES I CAN SMELL THEIR PRESENCE,

FEEL THEIR FORM JUST BEFORE,

THEY ENTER THE CONVERSATION…

THE SOLID FOLK WILL SAY, REMEMBER …

(ADD  THE NAME YOU FIRST THINK OF)

AND I WILL FEEL THEM COME TO ATTENTION,

PLEASED TO BE CALLED BACK,

FROM THEIR SHADOWLAND.

 

THE BEAUTY OF LONGEVITY,

IS YOU BECOME SO FAMILIAR,

WITH THE THRONG BEYOND THE THRALL,

MORE OUT OF THIS WORLD THAN IN IT,

THAT ALL THE PLAYERS IN YOUR DRAMA,

HAVE TAKEN THEIR CURTAIN CALL…

AND YOU ARE LEFT CENTRE STAGE

IN A SINGLE SPOT, EYES ALL UPON YOU,

FERVENTLY SEARCHING FOR THE NEXT LINE.

 

ITS NOT THE TERROR OF DRYING…

BUT THAT WHEN THE LIGHTS GO UP,

THE AUDITORIUM WILL BE EMPTY,

AND YOUR WHISPERED WORDS OF WANTON WISDOM,

WILL FALL ON DEATH EARS.

 

DALE ‘M’

WORDS TO THE MADDENING THRONG BEYOND.