NEXT STEP

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NEXT

Never have I lived such a sedentary life,

Hour upon hour contemplating,

navel-gazing, aimlessly vacillating,

Between world and unworldly,

Arcane or basely visceral…

I have no momentum…

Inertia has rendered the body immoveable.

 

Literally immoveable.

Back has seized up like a gate spring.

Frozen in time and space and velocity,

How to move on?

There are no locks in real space,

Just in my mind.

 

All carnality, or thoughts there of,

Are acts of betrayal…

But who am I betraying?

The promise dies with the person promised?

I just don’t have the theological maturity to know.

I’m like a child left to their own devices…

With the admonishing words of lost parents

ringing in their ears…

Do you continue to hold to their social norms?

I cannot hear her voice in my ear,

only in my heart.

always in my heart!


unfettered ramblings of a lost boy.

Dale ‘M’

BEEN PLAYLIST

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BEEN PLAYLIST

  1. YOU’VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE LIKE THIS BEFORE – UNIT 4 PLUS 2
  2. I MUST HAVE BEEN BLIND – THIS MORTAL COIL
  3. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN – SINEAD O’CONNOR
  4. I’VE BEEN HIGH – REM
  5. I’VE BEEN A BAD BAD BOY – PAUL JONES
  6. I’VE BEEN LOVING YOU TOO LONG – OTIS REDDING
  7. BEEN A SON – NIRVANA
  8. I’VE BEEN LET DOWN – MAZZY STAR
  9. I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR HER – MAC DEMARCO
  10. I’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE – LUSH
  11. IF I’VE BEEN UNKIND – LANTERNS ON THE LAKE
  12. IT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER – JOAN ARMATRADING
  13. MAMA, YOU’VE BEEN ON MY MIND – JEFF BUCKLEY
  14. I’VE BEEN THINKING – HANDSOME BOY MODELLING SCHOOL
  15. IT MUST HAVE BEEN YEARS – GARY NUMAN
  16. ITS BEEN A LONG LONG TIME – THE ELGINS
  17. I HAVE NOT BEEN TO OXFORD TOWN – DAVID BOWIE
  18. IVE BEEN LOVING YOU BABY – CINDY SCOTT
  19. SINCE YOU’VE BEEN GONE – CAESARS
  20. YOU’VE BEEN FLIRTING AGAIN – BJORK

I’VE BEEN BELOVED

DALE ‘M’

DIMINISHED

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DIMINISHED

I wear your name like a talisman,

A soft sibilant sorrow, sweet saccharin ,

A rune across my chest, hidden in plain sight,

A sacred language sworn forever more,

Beloved soul mate Maria,

Lost but never leaving,

Diminished only in life,

but immortal  in death.

 

You will always be warm in my heart .

DALE BELOVED OF ‘M’

FIVE MONTHS

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Five months have passed since my beloved was taken from me, and every day I think…

Any day now, life will become normal… but I never even catch a glimpse of normality. I try desperately to do things which will eventually lead down the road towards coming to terms with the new reality, but Nothing seems to help. I paint. I enjoy the process, I enjoy the finished product but it doesn’t fill the empty void I have inside my soul. I have been through the process before, rebuilt my life before. But I was young. Roads had signposts.

Now I am old and cannot see the signposts… I’m spiritually myopic, and furthermore, I don’t want to go forward, I want to go back to her. I want my soulmate. There! it’s all so simple. I want to turn the clock around, reverse out of this reality. I want a quantum time where this hasn’t happened.

There! Five months gone and I’m no closer to getting a normality. I’m still homesick for my lover, for the palace of us, and not the morgue of me!

Dale ‘M’