CARAPACE

Peeler-Crab-2

 

CARAPACE

WHEN YOU LIVE WITHOUT LOVE…

OVER YEARS,

YOU DEVELOP A TOUGH SHELL,

NOTHING CAN REACH YOU,

IT TAKES AWAY THE PAIN.

 

BUT WHEN YOUR WORLD IS

ENVELOPED WITH LOVE,

YOUR CARAPACE SPLITS,

YOU REVEAL YOUR SOFT SHELL,

YOU LIVE IN TRUST.

 

AND OVER TIME,

YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE VULNERABLE…

OPEN IN THE SAFETY OF YOUR TRUST,

YOU LOSE THE ABILITY TO TOUGHEN UP…

THE WORLD BECOMES A KALEIDOSCOPE,

COLOURS FLARE FROM THE GREYNESS,

OF YOUR SHUT DOWN LIFE.

 

WHEN THE LOVE HAS LEFT…

YOU ARE LEFT TO SCUTTLE

UNDER ROCKS…

AWAY FROM THE LIGHT

AND WAIT.

 

YOU WAIT FOR THE SHELL

TO TOUGHEN,

BUT ITS NOT SO EASY,

THE ABILITY TO CLOSE DOWN,

CAN BE LOST,

AND YOU MAY FEEL…

LIFE WITHOUT LOVE

IS NOT WORTH THE EFFORT…

AND THE CARAPACE IS A HEAVY LOAD,

JUST TO PROTECT YOUR TENDER HEART.

 

IN TRUTH, I’M A PEELER CRAB,

SOFT ON THE OUTSIDE,

SO ANYTHING CAN HURT ME..

AND IT DOES.

YES IT DOES.

 

DALE BELOVED OF ‘M’

FISHING BACKGROUND

THIS IS WHY I GO FISHING… NOT THE CATCHING OF FISH, BUT RATHER TO SIT IN THE COUNTRYSIDE AND BE… HOW MANY TIMES IN YOUR LIFE AFTER CHILDHOOD ARE YOU ALLOWED TO JUST BE , IN THE MOMENT OUT OF THE MOMENT?

I’VE WORKED RIDICULOUSLY LONG HOURS ALL MY LIFE AND FOR WHAT? I OWN NOTHING! TWO DOGS SOME FURNITURE AND A BOOK COLLECTION. AND I CAN HONESTLY SAY, JUST BEING OUTSIDE IN NATURE IS WORTH MORE THAN ANY BELONGINGS… APART FROM MY DOGS, WHO HAVE SAVED MY LIFE ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION… JUST HAVING TO FEED THEM AND LOOK AFTER THEM HAS STOPPED ME FROM, WELL YOU KNOW WHAT.

MESSAGE IS ENJOY BEING/

DALE BELOVED OF ‘M’. AND MISSING HER LIKE CRAZY!

WHERE PLAYLIST

IMG_4019

WHERE DO I GO – HAIR

WHERE IS MY KNIFE – AMAZING SNAKEHEADS

THAT’S WHERE YOU’RE WRONG – ARCTIC MONKEYS

WHERE’S YOUR HEAD AT – BASEMENT JAXX

WHEREVER YOU GO – BEACH HOUSE

HERE THERE AND EVERYWHERE – THE BEATLES

WHERE IT’S AT – BECK

WHERE ARE YOU TONIGHT – BOB DYLAN

WHERE YOU LEAD – CAROLE KING

WHERE THERE BOYS ARE – CONNIE FRANCIS

WORLD WHERE YOU LIVE -CROWDED HOUSE

WHERE ARE WE NOW? – DAVID BOWIE

WHERE’S THE REVOLUTION – DEPECHE MODE

ANYWHERE – DUBSTAR

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS – EURYTHYMICS

EVERYWHERE – FLEETWOOD MAC

WHERE DID YOU GO – FOUR TOPS

ANYWHERE LIKE HEAVEN – JAMES TAYLOR

WHERE DREAMS GO TO DIE – JOHN GRANT

FROM SAFETY TO WHERE – JOY DIVISION

WHERE DID ALL THE LOVE GO?- KASABIAN

WHERE CAN I GO – LAURA MARLING

WHERE IS MR.SPOCK? – LEMONGRASS

WHERE YOU END – MOBY

OUT THERE SOMEWHERE – ORBITAL

WHERE IS MY MIND – PIXIES

HOW THE WEST WAS WON AND WHERE IT GOT US – REM

WHERE I’M GOING – RANCID

ROAD TO NOWHERE – TALKING HEADS

 


WHERE DO MY FUTURE HORIZONS LIE?

DALE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WISDOM

IMG_0991

WISDOM

I MISS THE WHISPERED WORDS OF A WANTON WISDOM

SLOW SINKING SOUND ADVICE WHICH EVENTUALLY

SANK IN!

I MISS MY SAFE WORLD WHERE YOU ALWAYS KNEW BEST…

TO TRUST SOMEONE SO WHOLEHEARTEDLY,

AFTER A LIFETIME OF SELF-RELIANCE,

WAS SUCH A JOY…

 

BECAUSE, LEFT TO MY OWN DEVICES,

I’M USUALLY WRONG-HEADED,

USUALLY SLOW TO REACT AND FAST TO FLY OFF,

I OCCUPY SUCH A SMALL SPACE ,

WITHOUT YOU.

WITHOUT YOUR WHISPERED WORDS.

 

DALE BELOVED OF ‘M’

DIGITAL PLAYLIST

article_original_307_2010294_534914105-339x323

DIGITAL PLAYLIST

 

  1. Thumbnails – Morcheeba
  2. Thumberlina – The Pretenders
  3. Under The Thumb & Over The Moon – Carter USM
  4. The Horizon Bleeds & Sucks Its Thumb – This Mortal Coil
  5. Just Like Tom Thumb Blues – Nina Simone
  6. Under Your Thumb – GODLEY & CREME
  7. Tin Soldier – Stiff Little Fingers
  8. Green Fingers – Siouxsie & The Banshees
  9. Finger Poppin’ – Bryan Ferry
  10. Carolyn’s Fingers – Cocteau Twins
  11. Finger Back – Vampire Weekend
  12. Angel Fingers – Wizzard
  13. Fingers Of Love – Crowded House
  14. Fingerprints – I Am kloot
  15. Roman Fingers – Suzi Quatro
  16. Wrapped Around Your Finger – The Police
  17. Fingers In Factories – The Editors
  18. Fingertips – The Residents
  19. Fingers – Clinic
  20. Another Toe In The Ocean – Pixies

Wrong kind of digital?

Just how my mind works.

Dale

ALONE PLAYLIST

IMG_0264

ALONE PLAYLIST

Alone in kyoto – Air

Leave Me Alone – Angelic Upstarts

Alive Alone – The Chemical Brothers

All Alone – T.Rex

All Alone – Gorillaz feat Roots Manuva

Alone – Depeche Mode

Alone – The Damned

Alone – This Mortal Coil

Alone At Night – Stina Nordenstam

Alone I Break – Korn

Alone Tonight – Genesis

And I Was Alone – the Residents

Better alone – Lykke Li

Honeymooning Alone – Bat For Lashes

I Can’t Make It Alone – Dusty Springfield

Jesus Alone – Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Leave Me Alone – Sham 69

Never Be Alone – Simian

Sleep Alone – Moby

Together Alone – Crowded House

Wake Up Alone – Amy Winehouse


IN MY MIND… THERE’S TOO MUCH SPACE

Dale ‘M’

100 BOOKS YOU NEED TO READ

Foucault_pendulum_closeup

  1. Songs of the Doomed – Hunter S. Thompson
  2. Helena – Evelyn Waugh
  3. The Bhagavad Gita – Traditional
  4. King James’ Version of the Bible
  5. Breakfast of Champions – Kurt Vonnegut
  6. A Voyage around my Father – John Mortimer
  7. Ghost Road – Pat Barker
  8. Brazzaville Beach – William Boyd
  9. Birds without Wings – Louis De Bernieres
  10. Wicked Women – Fay Weldon
  11. More Pricks Than Kicks – Samuel Beckett
  12. Memoirs Of A Fox-hunting Man – Siegfried Sassoon
  13. Mary Barton – Elizabeth Gaskell
  14. The Beloved – Kahlil Gibran
  15. Wasteland – T.S. Eliot
  16. Lyrical Ballads – Wordsworth & Coleridge
  17. Canterbury Tales – G.Chaucer
  18. Beowulf – Traditional
  19. Collected Short Stories – Somerset Maughan
  20. Women In Love – D.H.Lawrence
  21. Great Expectation – C. Dickens
  22. Tattoo – Earl Thompson
  23. SSGB – Len Deighton
  24. Foucault’s Pendulum – Umberto Eco
  25. Life and Works Dennis Potter
  26. The Harvill book of 20th century Poetry
  27. Time Machine – H.G. Wells
  28. The Alexandria Quartet – Lawrence Durrell
  29. Wolf Hall – Hilary Mantel
  30. The Revolutions of 1848 – Karl Marx
  31. Horace Sippog and the Siren’s song – Su Walton
  32. Mill On The Floss- G. Eliot
  33. Foundation – Isaac Asimov
  34. Modern Criticism and Theory – D. Lodge
  35. The Noble Revolt – John Adamson
  36. Citizen Hughes – Michael Drosnin
  37. High Fidelity – Nick Hornby
  38. Wake up – Jack Kerouac
  39. The Quorum – Kim Newman
  40. Girl With The Dragon Tattoo – Stieg Larsson
  41. 1984 – George Orwell
  42. World according to Garp – John Irving
  43. The Dubliners – James Joyce
  44. Poems of Rabindranath Tagore
  45. Complete Works of John Keats
  46. The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
  47. Joseph Andrews – Henry Fielding
  48. Word Perfect – Dictionary of English usage
  49. Holy Blood Holy Grail – Michael Baigent
  50. The Golden Notebook – Doris Lessing
  51. The Drowned and the Saved – Primo Levy
  52. The Raw and The Cooked – Claude Levi-strauss
  53. Similacra and Simulation – Jean Baudrillard
  54. The Wasp factory – Iain Banks
  55. The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
  56. Paradise Lost – John Milton
  57. Seven Pillars Of Wisdom – T.E. Lawrence
  58. Selected poems of Ezra Pound
  59. Metamorphosis – Franz Kafka
  60. Love Poems – Alexander Pushkin
  61. Selected Poems – EECummings
  62. Gypsy Ballads – Frederico Lorca
  63. The Crysalids – John Wyndham
  64. Catch 22 – Joseph Heller
  65. Selected Poems – Isaac Rosenberg
  66. Complete works Wilfred Owen
  67. Notes From the Underworld – Fyodor Dostoevsky
  68. Duncton Wood – William Horwood
  69. The Misanthrope – Moliere
  70. Mother Courage – Bertolt Brecht
  71. Plays, Prose and Poems – J.M. Synge
  72. Goodbye To All That – Robert Graves
  73. Doctor Zhivago – Boris Pasternak
  74. The Time-Traveller’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
  75. Hawksmoor – Peter Ackroyd
  76. Ararat – DM Thomas
  77. Harry Potter and The Half-blood Prince – JK Rowling
  78. Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
  79. We – Y. Zamyatin
  80. Trainspotting – Irvine Walsh
  81. Reckless – Chrissie Hynde
  82. The Dice Man – Luke Rhinehart
  83. Generation X – Douglas Copeland
  84. Tropic Of Cancer – Henry miller
  85. Siddhartha – Herman Hesse
  86. Clockwork Orange – Anthony Burgess
  87. The Black Goddess – Peter Redgrove
  88. Lord Of The Flies – William Golding
  89. Isis Unveiled – Blavatsky
  90. English History 1914-45 – AJP Taylor
  91. Tom Sawyer – Mark Twain
  92. Complete Poems – Leonard Cohen
  93. The Beatles – Hunter Davies
  94. Return of The Native – Thomas Hardy
  95. The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
  96. Siouxsie & the Banshees Biography – Mark Paytress
  97. The Bourne Identity – Robert Ludlum
  98. To Serve them all My Days – RF Delderfield
  99. Islands in the Stream – Ernest Hemingway
  100. The Naked Ape – Desmond Morris

This is not a definitive list, I went upstairs to my library and went through my books, looking for must reads… Obviously, I’ve only picked one book from each author, because if you enjoy one you will go and check out the rest for yourself. I’m sure I’ve missed out lots of my favourite books, but since moving house the books were just put on the shelves without any codification, so what you find is a bit of a lottery. What I do know is that all of the books listed are well worth reading. I’ve not included my Art books, because they are not really about the writing but more about the artists.

 

DALE ‘M’

WITHOUT PLAYLIST

IMG_0264

WITHOUT PLAYLIST

  1. ANOTHER NIGHT WITHOUT MY MAN – CARLA THOMAS
  2. A WORLD WITHOUT DAVE – CARTER USM
  3. I CAN’T IMAGINE A WORLD WITHOUT ME – ECHOBELLY
  4. WATCHING ME WITHOUT YOU – KATE BUSH
  5. ON STREET WITHOUT NAMES – KLEENEX
  6. FLYING WITHOUT YOU – LAURA MVULA
  7. WITHIN YOU AND WITHOUT YOU – SONIC YOUTH
  8. MY WORLD IS EMPTY WITHOUT YOU – BARBARA MCNAIR
  9. WITHIN YOU AND WITHOUT YOU – THE BEATLES
  10. NO GOOD WITHOUT YOU BABY – THE BYRDS
  11. WITH OR WITHOU YOU – U2
  12. GONNA GET ALONG WITHOUT YOU – THE VIBRATIONS
  13. WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT YOU – LENE LOVICH
  14. GAMES WITHOUT FRONTIERS – PETER GABRIEL
  15. THE BEDS TOO BIG WITHOUT YOU – POLICE
  16. WITH OR WITHOUT YOU – 2 CELLOS
  17. A WORLD WITHOUT LOVE – PETER & GORDON
  18. WORLD I NEED YOU,WON’T BE WITHOUT YOU – HOW TO DRESS WELL

WITHOUT YOU.

DALE ‘M’

MISSING

img_0316

I’m missing my beloved so much! She performed so many roles in my life, it feels like I’m missing five loved ones. She was first and foremost my life partner, our souls entwined, we shared a love so deep, so long – lasting, there can never be a replacement. I have to carry on… but how I have no idea.

Secondly, she was my best friend, we talked constantly about everything. The person with whom I shared the minutia of life. Every bit of news or minor event I would pass on to her. She said That I never shut up. She is right. I wanted to share everything with her… so I did!

Thirdly, she was my lover, the best lover in the world. Our bodies connected in a way I cannot describe with words. We inhabited each others minds as well as bodies. We were beautiful together.

Fourthly, She was my life Manager, She taught me the best ways to help my children…

Everything good I did for them, she told me how to do it. She taught me how to be a better person. Now I’m afraid everybody will just have to put up with my shambling advice and muddle-headedness.

Fifthly, She was my accountant, she dealt with everything, so much so, I never had to worry about finances, phone accounts, internet providers, insurance, booking holidays, She did it all. She said that I was an artist, I should concentrate on that. I wish my art was better, and more productive… Oh well, all I can do is my best!

All of these roles, rolled up into one. There will never be another like her. I know that her soul is still with me, and I am asking her advice every five minutes… But it’s not the same. I need her to hold, to cuddle, to kiss, and to adore! What do you when you lose an Angel?

You give thanks that you had her to yourself for eight years! And thank the lord you have carried her in your heart for more than forty years!

My Marie was a blessing to me, all my adult life, she showed what love is and what it could be…

LOVE IS THE ONLY ANSWER.

LIVE IN LOVE MY FRIENDS.

DALE ‘M’

 

P.S. YES THIS FEELING AGAIN!

THE EMPTY CHOKE OF REALISATION…

THERE IS NO RESPITE.

NO  RETURNS.