LLANDANWG BEACH

IMG_4748IMG_4684IMG_4807AIMG_4772IMG_4776IMG_4817IMG_4812IMG_4698IMG_4774IMG_4716IMG_4711

MUCH AS I LOVE THIS AREA OF WALES, I THINK I PROBABLY WON’T BE GOING BACK FOR A WHILE. MARIE AND I HOLIDAYED MORE THAN TEN TIMES HERE, AND ITS JUST TO REDOLENT WITH MEMORIES FOR ME AT THE MOMENT. IT WAS LOVELY TO GO AWAY WITH ALL MY KIDS AND GRANDDAUGHTER, AS ITS THE FIRST TIME WE HAVE ALL BEEN AWAY TOGETHER FOR ABOUT FIFTEEN YEARS. WE JUST HAD A PEACEFUL BREAK AWAY TOGETHER AND THEY ARE ALL REALLY FUN PEOPLE TO BE WITH… NOT JUST MY KIDS BUT ALSO MY FRIENDS. BY THE END OF THE WEEK, I WAS JUST SO HOMESICK FOR MY MARIE… I JUST WANTED TO ALONE. SO MAYBE I’M NOT SO FAR ON IN THE GRIEVING PROCESS AS I THOUGHT. I ACHE TO HAVE MY LOVER BACK… SO MAYBE I NEED TO EXPLORE PLACES THAT WE DIDN’T GO TO TOGETHER.

DALE ‘M’

ANNE SEXTON – FOR JOHNNY POLE ON THE FORGOTTEN BEACH

anne sexton

FOR JOHNNY POLE ON A FORGOTTEN BEACH

In his tenth July some instinct
taught him to arm the waiting wave,
a giant where its mouth hung open.
He rode on the lip that buoyed him there
and buckled him under. The beach was strung
with children paddling their ages in,
under the glare of noon chipping
its light out. He stood up, anonymous
and straight among them, between
their sand pails and nursery crafts.
The breakers cartwheeled in and over
to puddle their toes and test their perfect
skin. He was my brother, my small
Johnny brother, almost ten. We flopped
down upon a towel to grind the sand
under us and watched the Atlantic sea
move fire, like night sparklers;
and lost our weight in the festival
season. He dreamed, he said, to be
a man designed like a balanced wave…
how someday he would wait, giant
and straight.
Johnny, your dream moves summers
inside my mind.
He was tall and twenty that July,
but there was no balance to help;
only the shells came straight and even.
This was the first beach of assault;
the odor of death hung in the air
like rotting potatoes, the junkyard
of landing craft waited open and rusting.
The bodies were strung out as if they were
still reaching for each other, where they lay
to blacken, to burst through their perfect
skin. And Johnny Pole was one of them.
He gave in like a small wave, a sudden
hole in his belly and the years all gone
where the Pacific noon chipped its light out.
Like a bean bag, outflung, head loose
and anonymous, he lay. Did the sea move fire
for its battle season? Does he lie there
forever, where his rifle waits, giant
and straight?…I think you die again
and live again,
Johnny, each summer that moves inside
my mind.

ANNE SEXTON

A feeling readily recognised. Loss of the innocence of youth, coupled with actual loss, becomes a very active metaphor for life. Anne Sexton always finds the words to describe a sensitive poignant feeling we may all have to face at some point in our lives.

Dale

MIND PLAYLIST

img_20180707_1213212779504456365291230

MIND PLAYLIST

  1. Don’t You Forget About Me – Simple Minds
  2. Don’t Lose (What’s Left of Your Mind) – Frankie Goes To Hollywood
  3. This Is Not A Mind Trip – Air Liquide
  4. Dog’s Mind – David Byrne
  5. Mind Games – John Lennon
  6. If I Ever Thought You’d Change Your Mind – Agnetha Faltskog
  7. Got You On My Mind – The Admirals
  8. Georgia On My Mind – Billie Holiday
  9. I Don’t Mind – The Buzzcocks
  10. Friday On My Mind – David Bowie
  11. Mind Control – Death in Vegas
  12. The Windmills of Your Mind – Dusty Springfield
  13. Brilliant Mind – Furniture
  14. Twisted Mind – Ghost Society
  15. Inside My Mind ( Blue Skies) – Groove Armada
  16. Georgia On My Mind – James Brown
  17. Peace In Mind – Joan Armatrading
  18. Where Is My Mind – Pixies
  19. Criminal Mind – the Ruts
  20. I Don’t Mind – Slade
  21. Pay Us No Mind – The Staves
  22. Echo In Your Mind – Susie Christie
  23. Mind – Talking Heads
  24. In My Mind (There’s Sorrow) – The Tourists

Two weeks ago I felt that  I’d turned a corner with my grief, I was beginning to make jokes and get some kind of perspective back, then last week I went away with my kids and grandchild Phoenix, and for the most part it felt good…but, towards the end of the week I was screaming inside my mind, too much noise, too much socialisation… I just wanted my Marie back. So it feels like a backward step, my kids were great, put up with my need to be alone, but I didn’t want to be alone so much as I wanted to be with her, my soulmate… I’m not sure normality is a possibility for me any more. I will keep trying, but without confidence.

Dale

YEVGENY YEVTUSHENKO – PICTURE OF CHILDHOOD

yevgeny-yevtushenko

PICTURE OF CHILDHOOD

Elbowing our way, we run.
Someone is being beaten up in the market.
You wouldn’t want to miss it!
We pick up speed, racing to the uproar,
scooping up water in our felt boots
and forgetting to wipe our sniffles.

And stood stock-still. In our little hearts something tightened,
when we saw how the ring of sheepskin coats,
fur coats, hooded coats, was contracting,
how he stood up near the green vegetable stall
with his head pulled into his shoulders from the hail
of jabs, kicks, spitting, slaps in the face.

Suddenly someone from the right by the handcart
pushed his teeth in,
Suddenly someone from the left bashed his forehead with a
chunk of ice.
Blood appeared-and then they started in, in earnest.
All piled up in a heap they began to scream together,
pounding with sticks, reins,
and linchpins out of wheels.

In vain he wheezed to them: ‘Mates,
you’re my mates-what’s the matter? ‘
The mob wanted to settle accounts fully.
The mob was deaf with rage.
The mob grumbled at those who weren’t putting their boots in,
and they trampled something that looked like a body
into the spring snow that was turning into mud.

They beat him up with relish. With ingenuity. Juicy.
I saw how skillfully and precisely
one man kept putting the boots in,
boots with greasy flaps on them,
right under the belt of the man who was down,
smothered in mud and dungy water.

Their owner, a guy with an honest enough mug,
very proud of his high principles,
was saying with each kick: ‘Don’t try your tricks with us! ‘
booting him deliberately, with the utmost conviction,
and, sweat pouring, with a red face, he jovially called to me:
‘Come on, youngster, get in it! ‘

I can’t remember-how many there were, making a din,
beating him up.
It may have been a hundred, it may have been more,
but I, just a boy, wept for shame.
And if a hundred are beating somebody up,
howling in a frenzy-even if for a good cause-
I will never make one hundred and one!

YEVGENY YETUSHENKO -1932 – 2017

(TRANSLATION BY Tina Tupikina-Glaessner, Geoffrey Dutton, and Igor Mezhakoff-Koriakin)

Perfectly describes a scene which I have witnessed as a child of thirteen, football violence was rife, and I have walked passed similar scenes and thought exactly the same thought… I will never be one of the mob.

Dale

FUN PLAYLIST

Picture 099

FUN PLAYLIST

Took The Fun – The Twang

Fun & Games – Caesars

Figure Of Fun – The Birthday Party

Fun time – Iggy Pop &David Bowie

Fun City – John Barry

Fun City – Soft Cell

Fun For Me – Moloko

Funhunt – Richard Hell & The Voidoids

Funniest Gig -Manfred Mann

Funny ( Feat. Frisco ) – Chase & Status

Funny Funny Me – Altered Images

Funny How Time Slips Away – Bryan Ferry

Funny Names – Big Audio Dynamite

Funny Time Of Year – Beth Gibbons & Rustic Man

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun – Cyndi Lauper

House Of Fun – Madness

Lots Of Fun – Sex Pistols

My Funny Valentine – Elvis Costello

No Fun – Sex Pistols

Not That Funny – Fleetwood Mac

Now This Is Fun – Depeche Mode

Oh Funny Man – Sex Gang Children

She Looks Like Fun – Artic Monkeys

Soon To Be Innocent Fun – Arthur Russell

Such A Funny Night – Aphrodite’s Child

You Make Loving Fun – Fleetwood Mac

HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A FUN WEEKEND.

DALE ‘M’

HOME PLAYLIST

IMG_0741.JPG

(Home is where ever this beautiful lady is…)

HOME PLAYLIST

Come Home – Dave Clark Five

Back Home – The England Squad (1970)

Wait ‘Til My Bobby Gets Home – Darlene Love

A Place Called Home – PJ Harvey

Low Place Called Home – Sneaker Pimps

She’s Leaving Home – The Beatles

Let Me Go Home – Camera Obscura

Leave Home – Chemical Brothers

Home – Depeche Mode

Home – Clinic

Feels Like Home – Basement Jaxx

Home Grown = Booker T & The MG’s

Home Again – Carole King

Time To Go Home – Chastity Belt

Home Is the Range – Comsat Angels

Long Journey Home – Elvis Costello

Not Going Home – Faithless

Almost Home – The Flaming Lips

Home Is Where The Hatred Is – Gil Scott-Heron

Woncha Come Home – Joan Armatrading

Green Green Grass of Home – John Otway

Going Home – Leonard Cohen

Unfortunately my beautiful Marie is no longer.

Dale ‘M’

ALONE – MAYA ANGELOU

awhof-17-maya-angelou-515

ALONE

Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don’t believe I’m wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

There are some millionaires
With money they can’t use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues
They’ve got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Now if you listen closely
I’ll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
‘Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

MAYA ANGELOU

I have nothing to add. She said it perfectly. my soul aches for my sweet Marie

Dale ‘M’

OF THE COUNTRY PLAYLIST

IMG_0607

 

OF THE COUNTRY PLAYLIST

THE AMERICAN – SIMPLE MINDS

BROKEN ENGLISH – MARIANNE FAITHFULL

BRITISH LEGION – KASABIAN

THE IRISH ROVER – THE DUBLINERS / THE POGUES

THE SCOTSMAN – BRIAN BOWERS

LET IT GO – WELSH ANGEL

FRENCH FILM BLURRED – WIRE

SPANISH BOMBS – THE CLASH

DOUBLE DUTCH – MALCOLM MCCLAREN

GERMAN NUN – SEX GANG CHILDREN

ITALIAN PLASTIC – CROWDED HOUSE

MEXICAN STANDOFF – ELBOW

AUSTRALIAN LOVE SONG – SPEAR OF DESTINY

INDIAN SUMMER – AIR

NORWEGIAN WOOD – THE BEATLES

WALK LIKE AN EGYPTIAN – THE BANGLES

AFRICAN NIGHT FLIGHT – DAVID BOWIE

CHINESE RADIATION – PERE UBU

JAPANESE RADIATION – THE RESIDENTS

TURNING JAPANESE – THE VAPORS

 

JUST A LITTLE EXERCISE

DALE

EARLY MORNING VISITOR

IMG_4808a

THE JOY OF WAKING AT FIVE AND FINDING A SEAL JUST METRES AWAY FROM YOU AS A GREETING. WHAT A BLESSING! HAD A SMALL POD OF DOLPHINS VISIT ON SUNDAY, BUT WAS TOO FLEETING AND I DIDN’T GET ANY PHOTOS. HOPING THEY VISIT AGAIN BEFORE THE WEEK IS OUT!

DALE ‘M’